I shut down my facebook account today, and with it, instant updates with ~90 people that I've known. Some of them close friends, most of them not. It had begun to feel like a clique, and I've never been good with being a part of something. Once a group claimed me as a member, I always found a way to piss them off and be free, and that's just as true today as it was in the past.
I really don't get extroversion and group mentality. People that need to be around other people are foreign to me. People who are afraid of time alone, especially long periods of time alone, weird me out. I just don't get it. What better thing is there than an entire week to oneself, free of any interpersonal interaction whatsoever? That sounds like heaven to me.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not a hermit. I need people around me. I just need them on my own schedule.
Think of it this way: when you go to the supermarket, there's probably music playing, right? If you're any kind of a patron of the arts, the music that is playing is probably not to your liking. You're in the market, and you need to be there, but after a while you just want to get the hell out because of the stress that that horrible background pop song is creating for you. You get away, you escape, and you relax away from the awful Britney Spears, or whatever it was. But eventually you need to go back to buy food again -- you need the market -- and what the hell, the braindead pop music is playing again.
That's how I feel about being around people, in general. I need social interaction to be happy, but something about it that I can't pin down quite as nicely as above -- something makes me just recoil and want to be alone. I really do appreciate entire weeks alone, and I really wish that they could be longer.
This sort of attitude is not conducive to a happy relationship.
Sigh.
Which is hard because everyone, no exception, seems to need love. Or at least companionship.
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I too like the quiet and the alone time. I spent a year in Prague on my own... very isolated and loved it. Even now, I love relationships and the companionship but I wonder if I am one who would prefer to live in two houses never living with another adult.
ReplyDeleteOh, so selfish! To want to be around people only on your terms, as if some of those people didn't look forward to your garden updates or random thoughts!
ReplyDeleteI tease, you know. I would do the same thing on many days. It's a drain sometimes to even scan through the bits of fodder to find anything useful, and rarely does it add anything to my day. But I walk that fine line of introvert/extrovert. I have my moments of hermitage and moments of balls-out yammering with strangers.
Just means I'll have to drop by here more often to see what you're up to.
Exception, wow, I have wondered exactly the same thing. There was a story about married adults living in separate houses not long ago (I forget where), and the idea really intrigued me. I am SO much happier without anyone else in my personal space, but unfortunately that is almost always interpreted as being antisocial, selfish, and weird.
ReplyDeleteBella, you crack me up. If you're going to come around more often, I suppose that I'd better put more garden updates in!
Boy Martian you hit the nail on the head there. I believe its where we all write from. I am experimenting with trying to be more social on my own terms.Truth is I like dogs better than most people,sorry. Tis the rare human that stands the test of time. Superficial trivia knots my guts but I suppose we are all quilty from time to time. I always wanted to go it solo on a sailboat.I too need people and have experienced deep loneliness, but oh my a week alone once a month sounds delicious.
ReplyDeleteKelly, regarding solo sailing: yes, I agree! I am trying to get ASA certified now so that I can sail alone with confidence. In my distant future: a 30'-40' sailboat and long stretches away from land, people, and complications.
ReplyDeleteInterestingly, I know a lot of people who have done this. One of my research advisors from grad school is now basically unreachable 10 months out of the year, since she is away sailing somewhere, often alone.
A boss of mine from ~6 years ago has now retired and just sails around the world with her husband.
For now, I do the next best thing and hit the water on an ocean kayak. I paddle out into the Sound, and I'm free, if only for a few hours.
ah! I am jealous, I am also land locked! But I do live in an area that has fifteen lakes with in twenty five miles of one another. My ocean excursions are just that, excursions. But I too am looking at boats to buy, soon I hope. I have always wanted to live on a boat and write.And sea stories are my favorite, from Sir Francis Chichester to Conrad and anyone in between. We have good rivers for Kayaking.But I want to wake up in the morning on the water, grab a cuppa and bring in the morning writing in such a sense of bohemian luxury I only get dressed for dinner. Well here's to dreaming it for now!
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