Things they go, in cycles, you know

Tonight I had a bit of a laugh. I logged into linkedin.com, the "social" website for professionals looking to just maintain job connections and whatnot. It's now announcing "people you might know", just as I remember facebook used to. Who was the first person on the list? None other than the original female half of Kiss'n'Blog, back before she left (in 2006, maybe?). T, the male side, and A, the female side of that blog, were very kind to me back then, when I was in the turmoil of a difficult breakup. I used to frequent their blog all the time. Then she moved on, and he morphed it into his own vision, and we all kind of drifted into something new. It's little things like this that make me realize that it's time to move on again, from where I am. Becoming nostalgic is not a good thing.

I get email: The cliffnotes version of my journey is that I have been attempting to stave off a complete mental breakdown for the last few years. During my good days I am functioning but all too often my grip is tenuous and I am lucky to 'mark time' hoping no one will notice how checked out I am. What an odd coincidence that you retreat from FB because of the facade it requires. Indulging in that bizarre fantasy world is exactly what I crave ~ Fake it 'til you make it. FB is therapy in a way. Well, that and mind-numbing sudoku puzzles. That from someone I love dearly, and have been remiss keeping up with. I am taking steps to open up lines of help for her. I'm not certain what I'm doing anymore. Things did seem more certain when that girl and I were laughing at the world 20 years ago. Work, sleep, eat, work sleep eat, work sleep eat, work sleep eat work sleep eat. In other news, I've been following you all, despite what you may think. I'm a lurker supreme.

It appears that blogger is forcing us to accept certain new conditions... so this blog will probably move soon. Film at 11.

On Friendship

I moved away from my hometown at an interesting age. I was 41. I didn't realize how established relationships/friendships are by that time, so here I am, five years later, without a social circle, which I've only just realized (for a variety of mundane reasons). How does one go about rebuilding a circle of friends at the age of 46?

Hell, let's just call it "New Music May"

A friend of mine in the UK is a total fiend for pop music, and occasionally hosts a drunken online DJ session. I have found more great new music through him in the last year than I did in the previous decade. I particularly like any in-your-face music that celebrates empowering people, which this one definitely does...

New Music Sunday

Enjoy!

DELETION

 So, I finally deactivated my facebook account. Sorry, Heather, I know it was one of the few ways that we kept in touch.

I really don't know what it was that finally drove me to do it.  There is just something so superficial and artificial about it.  Which is not to say that online stuff is universally bad--tonight I had a long online gchat with Laura, and it was awesome. 

But I don't like to be calm, and I don't like to accept things the way they are.  I will always struggle against the way things are, it seems.